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You are Loss.

Your life defines tragedy. You have experienced
great hardships on an unimaginable scale and it
has jaded your view of life.

What Emotion Are You?
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You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
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Hehehehe, check me out. =D There are an insane number of quizzes here. Like, really, Insane. I'm also Neo, Professor X, a tiger, a Graver (cross between a goth and a raver) and have the ability to turn people to stone, but they're not as fun.

I really wasn't designed for this frikkin heat. I'm quite happy walking along at night in winter wearing a tee-shirt, but when the sun is this bright I walk around with a permanent frowning squint as I try to make out one gleaming white shape from another; it's giving me a headache. It's quite funny watching the people in the local shop restocking the soft drinks only to have them sell out again in a couple of minutes. The heat frazzles my brain too though, and turning a corner into an aisle to be faced with 6-foot of cute, slim, bronzed, shirtless, doe-eyed boi just leaves me wondering where the hell I was and what exactly it was that I was trying to achieve there. After a couple of seconds I remembered I was on a quest for Red Bull, but I still looked like a right gaping fool. Gah.

Some people have too much time on their hands.

Yesterday a friend of mine defined my type; "Must be tall, with a look out of a book. Preferably Sci-Fi." ROFL.

Fond a cool dancy gif; see the lower right of the page :)

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for 6 whole days. Eventually, on the seventh day, Gabriel, the Archangel found him resting.

"Where have you been?" he inquired of God. God sighed, a deep sigh of great satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards, through the clouds.

"Look here, Gabriel. Look at what I've made." Archangel Gabriel looked puzzled. "What is it?" he asked. "It's a planet", replied God, "and I've put life upon it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance". "Balance?" inquired Gabriel, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; The Middle East over there will be a hot spot.

Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people".

God continued, "Over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich, powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, friendly and hot, and the little spot in the middle is Central America, which is a hot spot. Can you see the balance?"

"Yes" said the Archangel, impressed by God's work. Then he pointed to a small country in Northern Europe. "What's that one?" he asked.

"Ah", said God, "That's Scotland. The most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains and picturesque valleys, untouched rivers, streams and coastline of exquisite, timeless beauty. The people are good-looking, intelligent and humorous, and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as warriors, engineers, inventors and pioneers."

Gabriel gasped in wonder and admiration. But then exclaimed, "You said there would be BALANCE!"

And God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the bastards I'm putting south of them!"

Watched 8-Mile in Magyar last night. Well, part of it. Flat-mates being random. Very amusing if you're stoned enoguh and someone's prepared to attempt impressions.

Today has been soooooo sunny! About 7 degrees too hot to work properly apparently :-S

Been struck by random smells a lot in the past couple of days, like suddenly I get a waft of burning or cigarettes or cut grass in a room with none of the above. Maybe I'm finally cracking up.

Gonna storm through the next two weeks on Coffee, Red Bull, Cuprofen and Co-codamol, aka caffeine, taureine, ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine, which might well be fatal. Ho-hum.

Hmmmmm, Josh Hartnett. Hmm, Little dancing gifs. Hmm, cute bitchy sarcastic new yorkers.

Its a pity that making bottles of Lucozade 30% off for a pack of 6 doesn't stop them tasting like ming.

*guzzles Red Bull*

Woo! Blogger is fixed! Which means now I can update the templates aka the "thoughts" and the "currently" bits, so that's good.

Saw the Matrix: Reloaded last night and loved it, nuff said.

Machines is dull, but this is the last day of it until next week with past papers and whatnot. Tomorrow Mechanisms and some low-level Linear Algebra. Yaay.

Also writing a poem that will probably never go up; currently 13 stanzas and 2 pages long…

Found a song that made me cry today, so I listened to it on repeat for a while, and now because I know it so well it's become just a pretty tune with words. Yaay! 'course that has a host of possible morals, repercussions and life lessons but I don't have time for that one.

Tomorrow is a bank holiday, so even If I wanted to go to Top Banana I couldn't, as the last bus home is at 10:30, which is soo annoying.

A plague of webcams has hit warwick. Thus random observation #9 of 329874…5…6

Also a bunch of words I threw together after a stretch of boredom(aka revision) that's really bad, but I'll fix it later.

Ooh look, the Uni server is down, so no one can see my site at all! Yaay! Must get my own server sometime.

Trying to find a new place for next year between being so stressed out about exams that all I can to is cry and play with knives and not caring about exams enough to get out of bed. Which is to say, I've found it, now i need to maintain it.

Things that don't help me revise:

• Daytime radio.
• Having access to lots of notes that have nothing to do with the problem at hand. I can't help but flick through it, and it just freaks me out.
• Having overly-happy people that I don't know around.
• Having a bed nearby.
• Being unable to talk to a friend if you need to.

It's just maths. Just because I can't understand it at a glance doesn't mean it's impossible.

Gonna try a different approach to work, because this library one isnt working well enough.

In other news, I found a codex (aka rules) for using the X-men in the Warhammer 40k universe. Just don't ask how or why.

I hate the bloody radio. But then I listen to it soo much. Firstly there all the "Matrix: Reloaded" spoilers the other day, which I'm not so keen on seeing anymore, though I will soon. Then last night I was sitting down with my dinner when it started talking about a song request from some student and how everyone was revising right now, to which I replied "Not right now! I'm EATING, OK?! Gimmi a break!" The radio went on jabbering as though I hadn't said anything though. Cheek.

Then today there is this thing about a competition to give away a free (fake, natch) degree.

Then that excellent "I need a girlfriend" song came on, followed by that one by blur "Out of Time".

Nice.

On the plus side, I did an (other) online personality test and apparently I'm a mechanic. So I guess this means I'm doing the right degree :-)

I'm still trying to find how to turn myself into a revision machine. Pretty quickly. Feeling out how I work best I guess. Sitting opposite people who stop work every ten minutes to flirt and laugh and be overtly happy seems to result in distraction that leads to sort of panic attacks, so I shan't be doing that again.

I've put a wee archivey thing at the bottom right there, down with the links. The formatting really sucks, but I can't be bothered just now. Plus Blogger can only handle one blog template for the front page and for the archives, which sucks, so the mouseover panels dont work there. But at least now people can access all my blogs from the birth of mynciboi: 07/04/2003

Woo! Just talked to two peeps about a couple of projects, both look really interesting. Particularly one that looked only mediocre at first glance but after talking about it I realised the scope is huge, and in only a few minutes I had a bunch of ideas that I'd like to explore. The question is how. So I am well hyped about that; so much so that I now need to put it out of my mind and get on with revising for Engines. I'm pretty dissatisfied with fluids revision, but I'll get back to it later, I'm well pissed off that the guy who teaches it is away for a week, and give me copies of notes and exam solutions that are both readable and have the odd and even pages… muttermuttermutter…

I HATE not living on campus. Normally its fine, I can deal with a couple of bus trips a day to and from uni. But now, in exam-type revision evilness I am knackered, as much from pure stress as anything else, and really want to have a nap and maybe listen to music. But I can't. Either I stay here where I have access to the library and the internet or I go home, where there is neither. Not only does that mean resigning myself to not being able to look to a new book or site if a new problem crops up whilst revising, but resigning myself to being alone for the duration, which also sucks. I'd love nothing more than to stay home tomorrow, but I've got too many lecturers and tutors to see that can't wait.

TopB was frikkin hilarious, a veritable pantomime. They were all there; Buttons, Widow Twankey, the ugly sisters… (these are metaphors btw) I would also like to thank people for not copying my name, heritage and mannerisms ta' very much. Especially not when they're clearly doing it on purpose, purely to annoy me. Bitch.

And profound thanks to Seldo for pointing out the smiley on mars. It's made from dry ice donchaknow.

Also a slightly random thing in Meanderings about a meander I had late last night.

I am the champion. Well, I beat Will anyways…

Had such a bad nights sleep last night. Probably to do with stress. Need a haircut and to plan the new Pride Guide and things but they obviously fall by the by, like flies buzzing in my ears compared to Fluids. Till Thursday, and then I change to Engines. Thermo dynamics and understanding silly graphy type things. Mechanics and dynamics are conceptually easy, it's just knowing the language of how you model them in different situations. But now I've put you all to sleep, so I'll stop now.

Conversations across the land turn dull as people strain not to talk about their degree-course to people who really don't care and have their own degree to worry about…

*hug* to everyone though, regardless.

"Here's some hair, have fun."? Hrm, dunno. I'll think about it. I definitely need to do something with it though.

Last night was a lot of fun, what with the huggage of everyone, and especially the pizza and coffee at chez Giles afterwards. Not as much fun as Fluid Mechanics though, obviously, coz that's what I've been revising this week. So if you hear me muttering under my breath about fluids, I'm not ill or being mingy, I'm just going slightly mad.

Wednesday was also good, with the watching of X-Men 2 for the third time. I think I've seen it enough now, looking forward to the Matrix: Reloaded more than is probably healthy.

Last year around about this time I couldn't understand for the life of me why two of my friends kept bitching at each other; it seemed a good portion of my conversations with either one of them involved sniping at the other one, and I hated it. But I smiled, and nodded and said nothing. Maybe that's dumb. Maybe I'm a coward for not standing up for them every time it came up in conversation. But that would have been tiresome, frankly. I couldn't be bothered and it really wasn't that important. What I do know, is that in September, a year and a half later, the three of us are moving into a house together. Not begrudgingly either. We're all fairly close.

Saturday night was really good, funny having 80's cheese and underground trance in the same building. Should have probably made an effort to go to sleep before 5am though. Sunday night was an interesting insight into the life of Seldo through the medium of a very enjoyable dinner with a couple of peeps including his mother. Her treat. Most kind.

And now, its really sunny and nice and if I had a bed in the vicinity I'd fall asleep in it and sleep the sleep of the dead. But that would be rude, because it's just so nice outside! :-)

My demons are objecting profusely to being shut up. Alcohol seems to sate them somewhat. Also hugging some people and hitting other people. I sooooo don't have time for this.

I should probably stop sleeping on people's floors. That's the third time in a week.

Fluid Mechanics = Evil. The course, the people who run it, whoever it was that decided that I wouldn't get told about a deadline for Monday… They are supposed to put the cover sheets in your pigeon holes! Bastards!

I've added a few more thoughts and couple of links: I urge everyone in the world ever to look at the cheeky legomen on Caspar's site. Most of the rest of the site is crap but that bit is pure genius. Gloriously irreverent.

Woooooooh.

Well that was a weird week. Very stange.

And I'm back to normal again, evils gone and a load of emotional baggage dropped, so I guess that's all good. Sorry to everybody I've been a nonce to or wibbled at, normal service is resumed as of yesterday. Tomorrow I have to choose a third year project and attend three Warwick Pride meetings and then its off to bows for some issue-free fun!

Yaay!

Spent the day listening to the almost audible *click* as my defense mechanisms switch back on one by one. A couple of days too late is seems.

Also been remembering all the things I had forgotten. There's a lot.

It's a bad joke. A very bad joke. I'd laugh, but it would turn into tears, and this whole thing has had hundreds of times the tears it deserves. I wish I could go back in time to week nine in the winter term 2001 and stopped it before any of it started.

(*Sigh* -Ed.)

Just set back my relationship with my (then?) best friend by six months. That was dumb. Not to mention shot my self-esteem dead. That was dumb. And he's only going to be around an other couple of months before he finishes uni. That was dumb. For a second there I thought maybe I had been being stupid by not letting my emotions out of the cage to be seen by people. So I let them out. That was dumb. Like painting a target on my back. And my front. And on my face with those little children's Halloween face paints you get.

We'll drift, we'll forget, we'll stop caring, we'll stop hurting.

Update: Emotional Dan has smashed up his cell and is rampaging free.

Whoa, OK, so that didn't exactly go according to plan. However Crash was really good, and I danced at the front of the marketplace stage to The Pixies and Muse among others so that was all good. As for the rest: Whoa. No. Not really. If I remember rightly I haven't cried in any sort of public, of one person or more, for seven years or so. Well that's that winning streak blown well and truly. Ho-hum. Ach well never mind then. 'Course if anybody else asks; it never happened.

Emotional Dan is now locked up tight in his cell again, I doubt anybody will be seeing him again for a very long time.

(Bear in mind the post titles for this time period where written several years after the posts ;-) -Ed.)

XM2 is soo good! Go and see it! Really? Well go and see it again!

Last night at bows was very interesting. I feel like I learned a lot from a few unimportant almost unnoticeable things, and I need some time to work out what the implications are and what I'm going to do about it. I also thought up a couple more verses for Eulogy that I can never actually write down, as I hate broadcasting the whys and wherefores of my actions and especially my emotions.

Also the buffet was really good, many people came and squeezed into meeting room 6 and ate all the food and drank all the drink. Publicity? Feh, all you need is word-of-mouth and free food.

Still Evil. Worked out why now though. If nothing else deeply irritating happens for a little while I should be back to normal by next week. I think I'll take the opportunity to start swimming again too, and work out a (more) horribly anal revision time table, that would be good.

I've also finished that poem, or rather I've tweaked it as much as I can be bothered to. It's sooo annoying that the most efficient means I have of editing the pages is in notepad, given the only other program available on the University computers is FrontPage which takes one look at my navigation bar and has a wailing tantrum, before ripping it all up. I don't pretend to understand why, beyond the self-evident fact that it's just crap. 57 random thoughts now! Wehay!

The other day I had a rather heated three-hour argument about whose fault an earlier ten-minute argument had been. Go figure.