dang
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Erk, everything in this new fangled upgraded MT thingy keeps changing… I wonder if that's supposed to happen? Who's fiddling?! As for commentyness, I'll try and fix it on sunday. I have /no/ time lately. Damn World of Warcraft is trying to absorb my life, but my life isn't giving in so easily, and the battle-to-the-death is a little stressful to be honest.

For anyone that hasn't been paying attention, a bunch of us Afterlifers are going back to Warwick this evening for a (possibly ill advised) visit to uni-land of olde. It's Meta 10, so it should be a good night regardless, though I must remember not to attempt entry of the Union sober….

I think I'm going to do away with most of this blog, or more likely majorly re-organise a lot of it. Or perhaps pack it in a blog-box and put it out of the way in the blog-loft. I'm thinking a lot more structure, plug ins, and parallel blogability.

ANYway! On to the rant!

A lot of people will tell you being gay is not a choice. I don't think that's strictly true. Laurie said it's like choosing to keep your eyes closed all your life, but I don't really agree with that either. I would say it's closer to painting the walls of your house in a colour that you really, /really/ HATE. You can try and ignore it, you can pretend you like it, try and learn to like it, and if you have a particularly strong character you might succeed. But come home to an inner sanctum with polka-dot electric pink walls with purple-stenciled bunnies and a shocking orange ceiling every day and you'll probably never be comfortable with yourself (if you don't go blind first). Soon enough it?ll make you increasingly frustrated and angry, and eat at your self esteem 'til you're throwing bricks through the windows of people with nice curtains.

And frankly, in this day and age, who needs the aggravation? It is a choice, but it's a choice we must be free make, and to make without recrimination.

Another adamant declaration in the "Welcome To Being Gay" handbook is "It is not a phase"… Why not? How do you know? It might be! You can only tell in retrospect! Knowing a lot of gay people it's a given that I know a few that were straight and went gay. But I've also know people who were gay and then went straight, as well as people that have gone from bi to gay and from gay to bi. The idea that a decision you make as a teenager should be set in stone for the rest of your life is absurd, but it's hammered in so insistently that it can cause quite a lot of consternation in people when at some point they discover it might not be that simple…

This isn't leading up to some life changing confession by the way; I'm about 85-95% gay and I have been for a decade now. I just don't agree with the reactionary brainwashing some people are subjected to when they come out, and it annoys me that I might have been part of that. Although in the current regrettable social climate I suspect it's still the lesser of two evils.

Because as we all know; People Are Stupid.

I don't like the name "mynciboi". It seemed like a good idea at the time but no bugger can spell it and even less people can pronounce it. I also don't like that I have so much potentially embarrassing wank in the archives, following me around like some personality-free screw-up I befriended by mistake. I keep meaning to take out the search function but I can never quite be bothered. I don't like the current lay-out; some bits of it don't quite line up, it dies a death on certain settings, and there are still graphics from mynciboi 2.0 hanging around in the archives. I do like the photos, but I don't like that they are so difficult to find, nor that I have to open them in a window to see them in a decent size, nor that I can only display one photo entry at a time.

I already have an initial design for mynciboi 4.0 that tackles some of these concerns - the new site is in the pipeline - but I'm not sure that it should be called mynciboi at all. I thought perceptionism or perceptionist seemed a good plan, but its meaningseems to have been diluted by hordes of hypnotists and professional receptionists borrowing the term for their own nefarious purposes. Damn.

I still feel really zoned out. So much so that I'm not sure where I would be in if I was zoned in. If you get me. Essentially most/all of my energy is being taken up by one thing or another, particularly work, stammering CV designs, over-ambitious mynciboi 4.0 designs, and World of Warcraft.

Work is pretty good, though a little dull atm. It's going to hot up after the database comes back online on Thursday though. Hopefully with limited buggage, but that's a probably optimistic.

I can't decide whether to use JS in my CV. I think I'll start with not and then maybe incorporate it later. That way I can get it up and running and finalise the look/feel. Still need to research onclick sliding backgrounds in CSS though.

The mynciboi design needs a lot of work, but I'm very excited about the overall concept. I'll need to stretch MT a little or master the PHP to make it work though.

World of Warcraft finally comes out on Friday, which I've saved up enough holiday pay to take off, so I am going to.

*geek*

Which Family Guy character are you?